||[Dec. 14th, 2009|05:38 pm]
virginia, like the state
i'm going to fail my exam. i haven't studied a lick for it, and basically remember a couple of things when i should be more than halfway through my study schedule for this course. i have twelve weeks and i've just got the first one down and barely even that.|
nuremberg laws: september 1935
oh and june 30 and july 1: night of the long knives
i watched glee. i loved it. i love love love love love love it and i am devastated that it's not returning until april.
sigh, i've been feeling especially lost this past year and i don't know. i've been hiding our in my room this past weekend not really wanting to go out or see people. i don't feel like talking to people about it either. i can't forget when she told me that everyone is feeling like that and there's no reason for me to behave the way that i did so i'm not going to. i wouldn't know what else to say anyway. it's just what i've been feeling for the past few months. i can't sleep again. i wake up at one in the morning, five in the morning, seven in the morning, startled awake and finally giving up at about eight. i am not remotely motivated. i need something. i need something to change, something to wake me up, i need to figure out what it is that i want to do. i want to go away and just strike out on my own and i know i'm not made of strong enough stuff to do something like that but i want to get away from everyone and everything and just start over again and prove to myself that i can still be successful at things. i haven't felt like that in a very long time.